Who Are You Now?

Danny Muir Update - October 2015

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Whereas before my big goal was the London marathon, my aim now is normality. It's been a long road but I'm practically there.

1 The tiredness is lovely!

My little boy, Harry, was born in May. He talks to me by crying. Having a dirty nappy and wanting a bottle are two different cries. Being tired is a different cry. He's so cute when he cries - his bottom lip starts shaking - but he's a good boy at the minute.

I'm so glad that we've done it, cause I was quite scared of the idea of bringing another person into the world. I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. It's a lot to take on because I need to think too much about myself. But it's not a problem. We're working well at the minute. I am tired but it's a different kind of tiredness – it ain't the cognitive fatigue tiredness. The tiredness is lovely! It's worth it!

I've now got motivation to get up in the morning. I love taking him out for a walk in the pram. I just give my girlfriend a bit of time, and walk about with him in the local area. It does two things: it gets him out, and it gets me familiar with the local surroundings. I'm new to the area, so the walks are helping me find my way about.

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When my girlfriend found out she was pregnant, I put all my efforts into getting us a house. I feel a child should be able to run about in the open and not be enclosed in a flat. We purchased a house under the shared ownership scheme. It's a big development but the area's quite green. It was all quiet for a while cause no-one else had moved in when we got there. Our next-door neighbour is a policewoman and two doors away is a teacher, so they're good people. The couple opposite have just had kids, so potentially they could be friends.

We could have moved into this other place, but the local area wasn't so good for schools. I'm thinking a bit further down the line and they've got some brilliant schools here. Two have got 'outstanding' ratings, so that's what we're going to go for, and if he don't get in I'm going to be writing letters!

I just hope that the mistakes I made, he don't need to make them. My school was a typical inner city school. People just used to muck about. Everything that I done wrong, I want him to do right - although don't get me wrong, he's got to make mistakes in life, otherwise he'll never learn.

2 The icing on the cake

The job is the icing on the cake. I can't wait to get started. I'm going to be working as a Peer Mentor for other people with brain injuries. Advice, signposting, inspiration, aspiration – to give them a feeling that they've still got something to offer.

A lot of people say, "Oh, if I could help one person, that would be great." I say forget that - I want to help a whole load of people! It's families as well. One young lady was saying she never thought she would be able to have a normal family life with her fiancé but then she met me and I showed her the pictures of Harry. She said, "You've given me hope, you're my inspiration!" I think she said that last bit in jest but I still had a tear in my eye.

3 Explore the world

I said to my girlfriend, "You know what I want Harry to do? When he's about eighteen, he's travelling around the world."

"He's staying with me!" she says, "I won't let my boy go!"

I said, "he's going! He needs to go and explore the world."

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